Letter of Satsvarupa Das Goswami

Dear Maharajas and Prabhus,
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

I understand that many devotees still have questions about my past behavior. They doubt why I continue to have a position as an ISKCON leader.
Therefore I would like to clarify my falldown in 2002, my recovery, service, and relationship to ISKCON.

First of all I would like to apologize to Pranada and Nagaraja Prabhus, whom I deeply hurt and whose trust I betrayed. I genuinely apologize to all
my disciples, my godbrothers and godsisters, and all members of ISKCON. I am beginning to understand the depth of the damage my behavior has
caused for everyone, and the compounding of the damage by initially understating the matter.

The reaction to this fall has been devastating to the spiritual lives of so many devotees and created much mistrust in myself. As I have held a
position of high honor in ISKCON my misbehavior naturally throws doubts upon other leaders in the movement. This is a disservice to ISKCON and
its leaders. For this, too, I apologize sincerely. I have been praying that Lord Krsna and Srila Prabhupada forgive me. I realize that many
Vaishnavas want me to be transparent and accept responsibility for my actions, so I am opening my heart to them in an attempt to bring closure to
this sad chapter in my history.

When I first wrote about my relationship with Pranada Dasi, I understated the length and seriousness of it. I was frightened and wanted to protect
my reputation, Pranada’s reputation, and not cause unnecessary damage to the faith of many devotees who counted on me to provide a proper
example of Krsna consciousness. In retrospect this was a mistake, and I hope this letter serves to clarify matters.

As a young sannyasi I developed a secret attraction for Pranada Dasi in 1978 in Los Angeles. Later, I gave her and her husband at the time,
Vadiraja Dasa, second initiation. I never revealed this attraction to her or anyone. In 1980 when Pranada Dasi’s marriage to Vadiraja dasa failed I
suggested she move to Gita-nagari. Sometime later she began managing Gita-nagari Press, my tape ministry, and assisting me in a secretarial role
as my typist for letters to my disciples and other duties required to fulfill my GBC responsibilities. From 1980 to 1985, due to my ongoing attraction
to her, I instructed her, as her spiritual master, to do many things that were quite difficult for her. These included moving away from Gita-nagari,
leaving her son behind, and getting married (I had previously insisted she vow never to remarry). After she married and moved away from my
home zone my attraction subsided. Therefore, my attraction lasted about seven years.

In December of 2001, I was at a medical and spiritual low point in my life. I had wanted to tell Pranada Dasi, before I died of my old feelings for
her because this was a part of my life. Naively I told her of my prior attachment to her. I did not anticipate the result of my confession, which was
a revival of the old feelings. Thus began an illicit and intimate romantic phone, e-mail, and letter exchange lasting over a year. During this year she
also visited me three times in Ireland, and during one such visit, there was physical intimacy.

During this time I was diagnosed with anticipatory anxiety disorder. Pranada became involved with my care team since she has some expertise in
handling this disorder. Of course, this was a formula for further falldown.

However, my relationship with Pranada Dasi wasn’t the sum total of my spiritual life being at a low point. I was exhausted from the constant
migraine pain and reaction to the doctor’s supervised medical regimen. This low point also manifested in several ways including reduced japa.
My simple spiritual analysis of this fall is that Krsna saw some pride in me. As a spiritual master, sannyasi, and man I failed miserably before
Prabhupada and Krsna.

In November 2002 we decided to end the relationship.

The way I dealt with Pranada over the years has shaken her to the core and left her physically and emotionally devastated. I am chagrined by my
behavior towards her and hope that this letter of my taking responsibility is a step toward her healing.

Since then, I have undergone four-and-a-half years of professional psychological counseling, continuing medical psychiatric care, and spiritual
introspection. Over the years my medicine intake has been reduced by the doctor, so I don’t suffer from the side effects anymore—lethargy,
memory loss, confusion, etc. For the sake of honesty and spiritual improvement, I feel it is necessary to make some adjustments in my service and
position in ISKCON.

I am back in America (Delaware), living in a humble asrama with several men and devotee neighbors. We have a regular morning program and
chanting hours. There is facility for devotees to visit, and I welcome this in a scheduled way as my improved health is allowing. I have felt the
importance of senior association for my continuing recovery. I have established an open-door policy, which may be contrary to my reclusive nature,
but I think it is important to implement. I will start visiting the holy dhamas in India as of January to beg forgiveness and accelerate my
purification. I will occasionally travel to see devotees who may not otherwise get a chance to visit me, but in general I will remain retired from the
forefront of ISKCON preaching. I will now voluntarily implement a peer review system for my publishing efforts—presently, I am continuing the
series A Poor Man Reads the Bhagavatam, which should go on for the rest of my years.

I will no longer give initiation nor present myself as an initiating guru. I would encourage those who wish to take shelter of senior Vaishnavas in
ISKCON for their spiritual growth to do so. Those who wish to continue as my disciples can hear from me through my books and website, through
personal correspondence, and whenever possible, in person.

I am now sixty-eight years old. I wish to continue my recommitment to the sannyasa-asrama that Srila Prabhupada assigned to me.
In closing, I hope this communication will help heal the wounds and serve as a warning to others who may become lax in their Krsna consciousness
as I did.

Your servant,
Satsvarupa dasa Goswami

By the GBC Executive Commitee

In response to some devotees’ concerns regarding his book “Sanatorium”, Satsvarupa Maharaja has given the following comment and has also
decided to withdraw from circulation any remaining copies of the book.

Dear Devotees,
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
I have come to realize that my book “Sanitorium” contains explicit sexual scenes and references. I am sorry I have written it. I
apologize and promise not to write a book like this again.

Yours in service to Prabhupada, Satvarupa das Goswami